[ic contact]

[forkingbullshirt]

'Sup, drop me a message here and I may get back to you. Or not.



[ voice. video . text . etc]

Comments

courier;

[grandtheftequine]

Sometime toward the end of August, Eleanor will find an elegantly arranged gift basket hand-delivered to her by courier. Within is a tasteful array of artisan snacks and candies; a fine bottle of wine or liquor, or perhaps some gourmet coffee instead; a piece of handcrafted jewelry or small piece of art; and a black leather envelope clutch containing vouchers for various high end restaurants, theaters, entertainment venues, and spas around Maurtia Falls. In fact, everything down to the very basket itself seem to have been manufactured in Maurtia Falls.

A handwritten card accompanies the gifts. It reads:

"Maurtia Falls deserves to be celebrated for the incredible achievements it is already home to. If you believe that imPorts should play our part in elevating one of our Porter cities beyond its reputation, then Logan Delos is the ambassadorial candidate most deserving of your vote."

It's finished with Logan's scrawling signature, and contact information for his campaign, should anyone want to get in touch with him.

Voice

[dun_moch]

Greetings, Eleanor Shellstrop. I am sure you remember my voice.

[It's totally the voice of the 'demon' that messed with her in the attic of the haunted house.]

Voice

[forkingbullshirt]

[Holy fork oh she knows that voice.

But this time, she's not afraid and there is nothing flying at her. If anything, she's peeved that this dude got her to run off.]

If this is a lame attempt to haunt me again this isn't working, dude.

[dun_moch]

That is not my purpose, I can assure you. Our previous 'encounter' was simply business. I was a hired performer in the event you participated in.

But I must say, you impressed me with your resilience.

[forkingbullshirt]

I knew you weren't some forking ghost!

[Ok, she hadn't been certain but she's not gonna admit that.]

Yeah? I guess after meeting a bunch of demons some dumb ghost isn't as scary. Who are you anyway?

[dun_moch]

I am Count Dooku, and I am far beyond any spectre you could imagine. Perhaps you have heard of me.

[forkingbullshirt]

Yeah? Never heard of you, actually, sorry dude.

Unless you're related to Count Chocula.

[dun_moch]

[Restraining a wince on the other end:]

Surely you cannot be serious. Have you never heard of the Constellation? Of Swear-Out? Counting Truths? Countdown? My triumphs, my downfall, my confession?

I am one of the most significant imPorts in our community. Your ignorance betrays you, Shellstrop.

[forkingbullshirt]

Nope, can't say any of that rings a bell.

[She remains unimpressed, nearly rolling her eyes at that.]

Or maybe you're just not as cool as you think you are?

[dun_moch]

My movement came closer than anyone has ever come to freeing imPorts from the government and the Porter. Had we succeeded, the entire universe would have never been the same. You should show greater respect.

[forkingbullshirt]

So you're famous because of something you forked up?

Still really not that impressive. That's like me bragging that everyone in Phoenix that I got banned from the bus system. Twice.

[True story.]

[dun_moch]

How in the stars could you be banned twice from the same transit system?

[Happy to change the subject.]

[forkingbullshirt]

Honestly, the details of the first time are a bit of a haze aside from the police officers and yelling at the bus driver telling him that he looks like Ryan Seacrest's evil ugly twin before throwing up on him.

And the second time is the reason why Phoenix buses have signs saying the handrails in the bus aren't to be used 'inappropriately'.

[dun_moch]

I am beginning to understand why the undead held so few horrors for you, after the life you have led.

[forkingbullshirt]

You don't know scary until you get kicked out of a taxi at 4 am in the weird part of Phoenix. And now the driver has a restraining order against me, apparently, I scared him pretty badly.

[dun_moch]

Perhaps you should take my place as a haunter in the next edition of 'Nonah Nightmare.' I sense you have great skills which would serve you well in the position.

[forkingbullshirt]

[She's not going to admit how much he did scare her. Nope, not even a little.]

You do kinda suck as a ghost but I'm sure you would be fun to watch on tv.

[dun_moch]

I have always preferred an audio medium, in fact.

[With that voice, who can blame him?]

It is a pity you were not here while I was carrying on my podcast. It was quite widely renowned.

[It was not.]

[forkingbullshirt]

[Oh Dooku.]

Yeah? Ok, prove it. Talk to me as if you were talking on your podcast.

I want to see what you got.

[Time to put up or shut up.]

[dun_moch]

As you wish.

[And somehow, Dooku's already portentous voice becomes even deeper and more dramatic, sounding as though he is addressing a crowd on a historic event.]

The time has come for imPorts to cast aside the lies and delusions which have held us back for too long. The government that controls our lives here is not our friend nor our ally. For too long we have been registered, tracked, surveilled, manipulated, targeted and left at the whims of both the Porter and our native enemies. Our lives will never truly be our own until we gain the power to seize what is rightfully ours, and give rise to a new era of imPort strength and independence.

[forkingbullshirt]

[Eleanor is quiet for a few moments, she's staring at her phone like is this guy for real?]

I can see why your podcast thing got canceled, dude. Even I zoned out during that.

[Just being honest here.]

All that fancy talk just makes people space out. Keep it to 140 characters, make it relevant and exciting. All this - [And here she definitely is imitating Dooku's voice.] Our lives will never truly be our own until we gain the power to seize what is rightfully ours-

- just makes you sound like one of those redfaced talk show suits with a deep voice.

[dun_moch]

The complexities of our political situation could never possibly be truly expressed in so small a format.

[forkingbullshirt]

You would think but you would be wrong- people do it all the time.

Just gotta be creative! I'm sure you got it in you. Maybe you need a catchphrase?

[dun_moch]

Your... input is quite unnecessary, I assure you. That part of my life came to an end some time ago.

Counting Truths served its purpose. There is no reason to make a second attempt.

[forkingbullshirt]

That's too bad. Maybe like a Twitter thing? Or whatever this place calls Twitter.

I bet you would be really good at that.

[dun_moch]

It is known as Bwitter. And I am uncertain whether to feel praised by your confidence, or take offense at it.

[forkingbullshirt]

Hey I meant it as a compliment. Not everyone has what it takes to be famous on Twitter. Or Bwitter.

[dun_moch]

The required qualities that I have observed are hardly ones to cultivate, in my view. Still, I thank you for your... praise.